Saturday, July 7, 2012
King Street Stories: Fire works, slumlords' truthiness, and maybe taking a dip in the canal
Collen O’Brien threw her husband out of the house after she gave him an ultimatum of his cell phone or her. Kevin said he was sorry and he really loved her and the kids, but he needs his cell phone for work, to stay connected with his friends, and to play Angry Birds when he’s bored. If she isn’t ready to play second fiddle to his cell phone addiction then so be it. It’s her choice he told her, and went down the street to bunk with Ted his Angry Birds partner. How long the separation will last is anybody’s guess since Kevin seems to favor his cell phone over nookie which was another of Colleen’s complaints.
Things were shut down in the business district on July 4th tighter than a drum. Very little activity other than the community festival at the Morgan Manning house from 10:00 AM til about 3:00 PM. Cake walk winners were very happy and went home with something they could enjoy and share with friends and family.
Word on the street is that Mayor Connie was so excited about Doug Annlot’s Man On The Street interview on The Brockporter in which he said he was voting “no” on the referendum that she was emailing it to her 15 supporters and telling them she could kiss Doug. Most of the folks at Java Junction would love to see that, and Doug is very happy that the Mayor approves of him because now he doesn’t have to worry so much about getting killed in his sleep by people who don’t like what he said.
Some people have mentioned that they don’t like the use of the word “Slumlord” but it is a meme which has been repeated and evolved in Brockport for quite some time and picked up steam at the time of the dissolution vote in June of 2010. The meme took on even increased significance when Rich Miller and his wife were arrested for illegal voting with their slumlord friends snickering and hooting across the street in front of the Miller Manion on the day of the election. Then Mayor Connie got arrested for official misconduct for not abiding by the zoning and building codes and her paramour, Norm, was arrested and charged for endangering people for not letting them leave Mayor Connie’s residence when it filled up with smoke, and the fire department showed up. As Steven Colbert has observed, narratives have a certain quality of “truthiness”, and the narrative of the slumlords registers fairly low on the truthiness scale because much of their operations are outside of the laws and regulations of the Village.
It’s been mighty hot on King Street and once again the street has not seen any significant rain in a couple of weeks. Dave Markham and Kevin Conner have been watering Dave’s gardens and so they are coming along pretty well, but the climate change deniers are having a very tough time sticking to their story other than to equivocate by saying a few hot days don’t prove anything. That’s true but a lot of people on King Street, even the ones not that bright, are saying there seems to be a pattern here and taking a dip in the canal down by the Smith Street bridge seems very inviting.
And that’s the way it’s been this week on King Street where all the men are sweating bullets, the women are as fresh and fragrant as Secret anti-perspirant deodorant will keep them, and the kids love skipping through the sprinklers in the alley’s and backyards.
Editor's note: King Street Stories is a regular feature of the Brockporter Online News Magazine which appear every Saturday.